Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Thus starts my 2nd year of grad school

Yesterday (technically) was the first day of winter 2012 term. Thus starts my 2nd year of nurse-midwifery school. Term 5 out of 12.

I am taking two classes: Antepartum Care I and Community Assessment. From what I've read from classmates who have taken Antepartum already, I hear it's hard. And I hear Community has a rather large paper to write. So I hope I am ready for this term....

If you remember from the last post, I had wanted to make some adjustments in my life to help myself. Well, I am sad to report that none of those plans worked out. :( One of the plans was to see if I could change my work status to part-time. There were 3 reasons given to me as to why my request could not be approved at this time. Nevertheless, I am going to try and see if I can go per diem (which is even less hours, but I am going to try). With classes getting harder, I really need to see what I can cut back in order to focus more on them.

The other plan was to see about finding a therapist. I've been dealing with a specific anxiety disorder for a while now, in addition to extreme anxiety. It started in college, got pretty bad in nursing school, and I think it just about peaked last term.

One of my fears in talking about it on a public blog is that people tend to joke about said disorder often. I have a fear of people making fun of me for it, or not taking me seriously. Especially since some of the symptoms I deal with are ones I've never heard anyone else experience.....

One of the plans over break was to find a therapist who specialized in treating it. I did find 3 therapists in my area who specialized in treating it, but well, if I can't cut my hours at work, I guess this isn't a great time for therapy. I don't think I can take even 1 day a week out of my schedule for therapy, attend classes, work full-time, and expect to have somewhat of a social life. Something has to be cut if I'm going to do therapy.

So now you know something else about me that you might have not known before. I don't mind sharing. I just had to put it somewhere.


  1. Sweet Iris, if you only knew how many people look up to you!!! Nobody would make fun of you here. OCD is a great thing to have, really. I know of many practitioners who have it, and it makes them better at taking care of patients.

    I found a quote a while back that I like that talked about anxiety being an emotion that is simply excitement tainted with fear. It helps me remember that anxiety is partly a good thing since being excited is a positive experience.

    I want to e-mail you when I have more time. :)

    I can't believe that you are so close to being done!

    1. Thank you for your comment, Elizabeth. I could see the possible benefits of it (like reducing the risk of spreading germs, making sure my doors are always locked, and some others...), but a bad thing about it is how much time it eats away. I think that's the reason why I feel like I'm always behind (work, school, etc.).

      I know you're super busy as well, but I'd love to hear from you whenever you get a chance. :)

      I can't believe next year I'll be doing clinicals and finishing up the program!