Good News :)

I received a job offer (for a RN position) on the 16th - and accepted (um, of course!). I will be working on a PCU-type of floor.

Last week was CRAZY, to say the least. In addition to the job offer, I also received an invitation as a camp nurse and scheduled two interviews for two different hospitals (within the same system). I had to call the following day to cancel all those things. Hard to do, but necessary and courteous.

I have since been very busy doing all the necessary "stuff" in preparation for the new position.

I am grateful that someone gave me a chance after 10 months of being out of a nursing job.

Thank You, Jesus.

Unofficially done :)

I am done with winter term. It doesn't truly feel official though because I don't have all my grades yet (i.e., for my second midwifery paper and my Patho ending reflections paper). I did complete the course evaluations, though. I also have to go to a workshop later this year as a part of my midwifery course.

It will feel so nice to have a couple of weeks off. Seriously. I am so thankful to have gotten through this term. It wasn't that it was impossible (though at times I did worry about my grade in Patho). I think it was hard for me personally because my mind was focused on other things (i.e., the job search and everything attached to it). I became apathetic for the latter part of the term, and that made it hard to stay motivated to do much. I pulled through (thank You Lord).

I am still searching for a RN job (8 months and 11 days since I've been unemployed). That's given me a lot of time to think about it. I figured I have so many thoughts about it floating around in my brain that it would be a good idea to get them out in a long blog post. A private one, though because a) I don't think the public needs/wants to hear about it, and b) there are a lot of details I want to write down, and I don't want the possibility of people from my former workplace to find it.

I know a job search may not seem like the most awful thing compared to what others go through. But one thing you should know about me is that I am not a fan of comparing people's problems. My thoughts on this is that everyone goes through trials in their lives, and what they share in public may not be all that is or has been going on in their life. And pain is pain is pain - whether it is a cut or a stab wound. That's a paraphrase from Dr. Allender.

I have a lot to say about this unemployment situation and all the feelings that have been going through my mind since it happened. Many feelings that stem from when I was even in nursing school. I can recall several situations that occurred (from then until now) that were a blow to my confidence. I feel like I have a long way to go before I can build it back up again. But hopefully not.

Job Search

So there has been some changes in the last few days. The meeting with the DON was fine. Basically she asked what my goals were for the future. I mentioned applying to the nurse-midwifery program. She mentioned the incident that happened on the 17th. And then she mentioned how I did not seem to like it on the stroke floor. Which led to her saying that......I had an opportunity to resign.

There was a rep present at the meeting from HR, and they both said that perhaps an acute care environment was a bit too fast-paced for me right now. The DON suggested public health, like in a health department. She said they are looking for BSN-prepared nurses. I don't see any jobs posted that I would be interested in, though. Plus their job application site is down until July 20th because they are re-modeling it or whatever. Well that helps a lot.

The DON said to think about it over the weekend and call back on Monday. So I thought about it, a lot. But by Monday I just wasn't sure. So I called the DON and said I wanted to talk about it a little more, and she transferred me to my manager. What I understand is that if I had continued to stay at my job, I would have been terminated (i.e., fired). So it was clear what I had to do. I asked a few more questions and told her I would stop by in the afternoon to turn in my official resignation letter and my badge, keys, etc..

The resigning part was not bad. I know that I left on good, friendly terms with my manager and the co-workers that I said good-bye to. My co-workers are the best.....they are always on my side and were giving me suggestions on where to apply and what to do next. That is what I am going to miss about the stroke floor!!! :( But at least I got their numbers, so I can text them and keep in touch. I emptied my locker, which only had one black pen in it, haha.

Now the hard part is finding a job. I stopped by the OB-GYN office today and also the office run by CNMs, but the former only hires LPNs and medical assistants, and the latter said to try to reach HR at the corporate office. I stopped by the birth center after lunch, and they gladly took my resume, but that if a position opened up, I could work as a birth assistant. Which I would be totally fine with doing.

I just pray that the job search is not as crazily stressful as it was last year. The good thing this year is that I don't have a time limit.....but I would still like to be employed ASAP!

It's a no

I called HR this morning. It looks like the interim manager gave the position to somebody else. The HR person said it was probably offered to someone internally - that is, someone ALREADY in Mother/Baby. I understand that they would be given preference.

The weekend position and the PRN position are still posted. I am considering applying for the former. I would be willing to work every Saturday with absolutely no problems at all. But could I face working every Sunday until who knows when? Of course I know that attending church does not make one a Christian, but attending church is important for my spiritual life. I need the fellowship. And I am growing to enjoy my Sunday school class.

Of course I could try the local OB-GYN office and the birth center, but my first choice would be to stay at my present hospital.

I have a meeting with the Director of Nursing (DON) today. She is the DON of the cardiac floors + stroke floor. She wanted to meet with me today. She knew that I was scheduled to work, but she got it approved by my supervisor to have the day off of work (can't complain about that). She wanted to talk about the incident that happened on the 17th. She also mentioned she heard from my manager and supervisor that I was having a difficult time on the floor, and I think she mentioned something about possibly trying a different area??

So I am off of work today, and I am going to go meet with her this afternoon. Maybe after this meeting I'll decide if I want to apply for another position within the hospital.

Surprisingly, I'm not as upset as I thought it would be. Like I said, things would work out the way they were meant to be. I just need guidance and wisdom to know what to do next.

Update

Sorry for the long lapse in between posts. Things are going okay. Some new changes have happened:

I applied for a position on Mother/Baby! The first application was sent on May 19th, and I had two interviews for it. However, they gave the position to someone else, and I applied again for another position that was posted.

I had a 3rd interview with a whole new group of people (two weekday supervisors and the interim manager). This 3rd interview was done on June 17th. I am currently waiting to hear back. I called the interim manager back on the 23rd, and she did not know when their decisions would be made. They seem to be going through some changes, with the new manager coming in next week and hiring new staff. I just hope I will be joining them.

I am trying to stay hopeful. But I am growing weary (huge understatement). If you walked a day in my work shoes, you would understand how I feel.

10th one's a charm :)

I have great news: I received (and accepted) a job offer with a hospital! It is amazing how the timing worked out. Here is how everything worked out:

July 27th: this was the day of my interview - 10th one's a charm.
July 28th: I got a call from my recruiter that the nurse manager on the unit that I interviewed wanted to offer me a position!
July 29th: I went apartment hunting and found one.
July 31st: I moved out of my old apartment. Received my "official" job offer (and accepted!), and got approved for my new apartment just as I was driving into the city.

Amazing. No coincidence.

I have a pre-employment physical tomorrow morning and will have to go in at least another time before orientation. Orientation starts on the 11th!

Job Search Update

So far I have been on 8 interviews and not an offer yet. I need to move out of my current dwelling in 10 days as well, but I haven't chosen a place to live next because I applied to places outside of my town, too. There are a few back-up plans if I do not find a place right away, but I am really hoping & praying that I will have a place of my own to move into by next week.

This whole job search process has been very tough and longer than what I had expected, esp. since ALL of my peers whom I graduated with have had jobs for at least a month (many longer) now. At least the ones I am friends with on FB. I do know that I have many things to be thankful for, but sometimes I cannot help but get so frustrated and think about myself.

At times I am bitter and angry. But sometimes I find that when I am at the end of my rope, sometimes something comes up and gives me a little hope. I'm holding on to any hope I have left. I know when I hear the good news (whenever it may come), I will be incredibly thankful and all those feelings of frustration, bitterness, weariness.....will be gone. I am looking forward to that moment. :)

7th interview coming up

Things are going okay. The job search is going so-so. I didn't think it would take me so long to find a job. Not because there is a nursing shortage (which there isn't - at least not for new RNs), but because all of my friends have had jobs for at least a month now. And I started searching for jobs back in March!

I have been on 6 interviews so far, and I have my 7th one scheduled for Monday. I am really, really hoping for something good to happen soon. The scary thing for me is that my apartment lease ends on the 31st of this month, and I don't think I can extend it for another month or so. I haven't asked yet, but it doesn't seem like the kind of place that would let me do that.

Perhaps at just the right time, God will provide something. I can only hope and pray.

6/10 update

Sorry for being late on this update! My niece was born on June 3rd! I am so happy for my brother and SIL. "Pearl," as I will call her, is so precious. She was born full-term but is small and wears preemie clothes. From what I heard, she breastfeeds like a champ! It is hard being far apart at this time, but I hope someday soon I can go and see the happy family.

Lately I have just been studying a lot. Still no job yet. However, I have an interview coming up in 2 days, and then another one coming up in the following week. I really hope I can give these next interviews my ALL. I don't exactly mean to sound all "pity-me," but just about everyone on my clinical team has a job now.

I listened to the song While I'm Waiting this morning (circa 0300-0400) when I was having trouble getting back to sleep. I first heard it in the movie Fireproof. What a good song for this season of my life. I hope to have the patience as I wait for the Lord's perfect timing.

No baby yet

SIL started having some more ctx yesterday and went to L&D, but she got checked and came home because she was not very dilated.

She is 39 weeks and 2 days, so the baby could come any day now! Last night's events got me very excited, and now I'm just anticipating the real thing to happen! I am so excited.

As far as news for me......some things have been happening, yes. I scheduled my boards exam, have continued to apply to jobs, and have had 3 interviews so far (but no offers from any of them). I have 2 more interviews coming up - on the 12th and 16th.

Back to studying. :)

Job interview 5/13

I had an interview for a position at a Children's Hospital two days ago. I felt like it went well, but I guess I cannot tell whether that means that the recruiter and nurse manager thought the same thing as well.

I told myself that I would be happy with whatever they told me. That if anything, it was a nice interviewing experience.

But now, having been told that 2 of my friends got jobs, I really want this one. Nursing jobs are hard to come by for new grads. I don't wish to take the risk for waiting around for jobs to open up. I hope I get this one. I'll keep praying.

Thoughts on the Road

So I was driving home tonight and talking to God. I had really somewhat forgotten how hard it was to wait for something. When I was in high school and had to wait for what was going to happen next with my urological issues.....that was hard. When I didn't have the surgery I was supposed to have in December 2000, I had to wait till the following MAY 2001 to have the next procedure done.....then August 2001, and then my final urological surgery in September 2001. All that waiting in between was hard.

Now that I have applied to several jobs, it has been hard to wait for a positive response. Things have been changing in me, and either I am losing my steam or God is changing my heart and molding it more to be towards His will. I am not all about getting into L&D as much as I used to. I am very happy that I am getting doula certification, and I think that would fulfill my desire to work with pregnant, laboring, and postpartum women. I really do. I realize that I don't have to be an L&D RN to work in that field.

Lately I have been interested in PICU, peds oncology, and NICU. I don't know if it sounds weird, but I want to work with people who are hurting (physically and emotionally), and I am possibly interested in providing palliative care. I enjoyed working with the patient who was on the ventilator on the days I was in intensive care units.

When I was driving home tonight, I had somewhat of a light bulb going off in my head, and I remembered one of my most memorable experiences working on the Disney College Program. To summarize, there was a guest who had lost her daughter. It sounded like she had been in the hospital, possibly an ICU-type of setting. The women said Jiminy Cricket reminded her of her daughter. Jiminy Cricket was extremely touched by this, and though the woman said that meeting Jiminy made her whole vacation......honestly, the woman's presence and touching words made Jiminy's day.

I want to help more people like that.

I am just a little worried that working in a setting like that would de-sensitize me towards loss & death. I don't want to become like that. I am very much in touch with my emotions and am not afraid to cry. I want to help my patients and their families through tough times, pain, and sorrow. If I work in PICU, peds oncology, or NICU, I don't want to become emotion-less. Crying is very therapeutic for me. Tough life experiences are something I am familiar with. Healing happens when emotions are felt and expressed. I think that God could give me the strength to help these kinds of patients. I think that God wants to use the pain and healing I have experienced to help others who are hurting, whether physically or emotionally.

I also want to help children who have been abused (physically or sexually). I hear this is something one will unfortunately see when working in peds nursing. I read on Allnurses.com (related to children who are abused) how nurses can show them love and kindness in an otherwise sad situation (very much paraphrased obviously, but I hope you can get an idea of what I mean). I really liked that, and that is what I would hold to if someone asked me why I would want to work with these children. My mission would be to treat them with kindness and love, to be a light in darkness. It is an awful crime to abuse a child - it can be our job to show them that they are loved. I think some of these recent interests stem from my interest/background in psych.

Sad/Happy

I'll start with the "sad" first. I called the nurse manager on the gyn/women's med-surg floor that I wanted to work at. She said that they are not hiring any new grads at this time. In fact, in the past year, they had hired some new grads, so that is why they are now looking for experienced nurses (which were probably the positions I had seen on the job listing site). As for Mother/Baby, which she is also the nurse manager of, she suggested that I get med-surg experienced before applying there.

I was of course very polite, but I was sad after the phone conversation. That floor was the only med-surg floor that I wanted to work on in order to gain my "6 months to 1 year" of experience. I seriously don't know if I could last 1 year in med-surg. 6 months alone will be hard enough, knowing that there is another field I want to enter.

I stated my feelings on my Facebook status, and one of my fellow team members/pirates (inside joke) commented on it. That comment made my afternoon. I had just been feeling very down this afternoon, but she helped me feel a bit better.

And now onto the "happy." I heard back from my CBI trainer. I had replied to her welcome email, and I was afraid that she hadn't received my lengthy email. Which is not a huge problem because I could retrieve it (since I save all my sent emails). However, she has a lot of students to keep track of and sometimes it is hard to remember who you replied to. She wrote back a very nice email. And....she mentioned my email signature (which quotes Philippians 1:6 - "...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus") and said that she is a Christian, too!! I thought that was so neat. It's great how God puts people in each other's paths like that. :)

Excerpt from devotional

I was reading in my devotional this morning, and I thought this was so good (emphasis mine):

"My grandfather continued my spiritual education. He said, 'If God tells you to run your head through a brick wall, start running. When you get to the wall, He’ll make a hole for it.' In other words, obey God and leave the consequences to Him......."

That's how I feel about finding a job and esp. finding a place to live come July.

You can read the devotional here.